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last journal [11 Nov 2004|04:33pm]
Hey people, I made a new journal becuase I need a change in my life majorly so I am trying to take steps and chances to do that. Well here is my new name on here....lonely_n_scared....have fun kids...

Last journal ever on this name...

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Hey people! New name! [11 Nov 2004|04:30pm]
Hey everyone I got a new name on here because I was extremely bored and god knows I need a change in my life, so I am trying to change it, my life isn't changing as fast as I want it but oh well atleast it is...it's lonely_n_scared......have fun kids...

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Wow what to say? What to think? [08 Nov 2004|07:49pm]
[ mood | Depressed,Shitty,Bored,Lonely. ]

Hey People,

What's up? Wow so much has happened and I really don't know where to start. I mean, lets see, I was going out with Josh, now I am not, I told him the truth, I see him more as a friend, we have like tons and tons in common, I mean he actually gets me and that is like the best, but I don't know, I just didn't feel it like I was suposed to, I didn't want to drag on a relationship that was only one sided. That is unfaithful, rude, and just plain stupid and hurtful. So I told him all this, in a way, and I broke it off. I told him that I still want to be friends and asked him if he wanted to hang out this weekend if we are both free and stuff. I don't know right now if that is exactly the best idea but oh well, I want to.
Saturday, wow that was like a good day, gone shitty! I mean lets see I didn't get that much sleep because of reasons, and because some snoors, lol, it was cute though. Then I got on the computer, and was on it just talking to a few of my friends and a few of Josh's friends. Then I got tired and so did he, so we both took a nap, only he had to get up and get ready because our friend Nancy was going to pick us up at 6pm, even though he started to get ready at like 3pm. So I just stayed in bed and didn't start to get ready until like 20 till 6pm. lol. I know I am a lazy shit bum...lol. Then when I was walking out of Josh's house, his dad gave me a nasty look like I would care or get frightened but I didn't I just stared at him until I went out the door, damn homophobic bitch. Then Josh, Nancy, and me all went over to Carrie's house to pick her up, then we had to go over to Nancy's girlfriend's house because I guess she wanted her mom to meet Nancy. After that Josh, Nancy, Carrie, and me all went over to the I think the Fun Center, in Kelso, to meet their friends. So we found them and then we headed off to Portland to go to the club, when we got there we parked and we all stood out front of the club and Jiv, I believe that is how you spell her name, parked right in front of the club so all of us and a few strangers were jammin' in front of the club before it opened lol. We got there like 30 minutes or so before the club even opened so it was cool. I got to meet their friends, it was Jason, Jiv, and Roman, god those are some hot kids! Jiv looks, SERIOUSLY, just like Fifi Dobson, the singer.I thought it was awesome! Roman and Jason are to hot kids as well, only Jason, towards the middle of the night started to feel really sick to his stomache, so I kind of cuddle next to him and rubbed his stomach hoping he would feel better. Then Josh saw and got HELLA mad at me because he thought I was flirting. I was like no I was actually trying to make him feel better. That episode just caused to much drama to care, so therefor I am moving on. So after that A few people were trying to make me feel better and get me to dance. The only person you really did that was Meallisa, she is really the only reason I felt better that night. Thanks girl. We were shackin' it like a tail feather!!! LOL! But yeah, then everybody started to leave exsepcially all my friends so therefor I didn't want to stay anymore, and Nancy, Josh, and Carrie were ready to go as well. So we left to go and take me home, and Nancy didn't really know where to go and I thought I did but I guess I didn't and we took the wrong exit, but LUCKILY, Carrie was there and knew what to do...What a smart lady! So yeah, when we got to Krista's, I said goodbye to Josh, it was kind of fast and stuff because really, I was tired and was kind of annoyed by how things went that night, so all I wanted to do was leave. So then I said goodbye to Carrie, and Nancy, and I got my stuff out of the trunk and I went inside, freakin' I barely ate Friday and Saturday, so when I got home, psshh....I MADE SOME EASY MAC AND HOT COCO! Hell yes bitchs! Then I fell asleep.
When I woke up no one was home, so I just got on the computer and talked to a few people, I was kind of down because I didn't know what to feel about Saturday and how it went and how I felt in the relationship I was in. Then finally Josh got on and we talked, I broke up with him because of reasons, and I am not sure he believes me for the reasons I did them but I don't care because the reason I said were true. Then after I got that off my chest I kind of felt better but still shitty at the same time. I have kind of been feeling the same way today as well. I hope this feeling doesn't last long, it's kind of like the feeling of why do I live, what do I do, how do I feel, whats the point in this, what's the point in that? I just really don't know what to think about things. I am trying to figure things out but it is hard, I wish I had some there who knows what I mean, knows what I am trying to find out, and knows what to do. I need someone, but also at the same time I want to be alone solve it on my own, and don't really want everyone to know. I really don't know anymore. I just don't.
Today I missed school, kind of because I need sleep, kind of because I am really depressed right now, but mostly because I didn't want to deal with people at school, like seriously there was not one preson I could think of that I really wanted to see. So I just stayed home, my mom kind of yelled at me and told me I HAD TO GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW! But I didn't care. so all day until now I have just been in my room, I watched to movies, slept, listened to music, watched t.v. and just layed back I think I might go and take a long relaxing shower, or atleast try to take a relaxing shower, I doubt it will though. So, right now, I am just sitting here, I am talking to Josh, kind of, and listen to my mom and my STUPID step-dad talk about STUPID shit that NO ONE CARES ABOUT! I am not going to start an arguement with them because of the lack of willing to care about them and what we would be argueing about, so whatever....
Well lets see, I know that maybe 2 people out of everybody I know will read this, and maybe 1 will actually post a comment but I doubt it. So yeah...I guess I will go now and finish talking to Josh and my friend in Texas and maybe do a few other things, so I guess I will go. Talk to you guys later.

Love the one who is always lost,


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If only I had a car. [01 Nov 2004|07:30pm]
[ mood | Anxious, Happy, Worried, Loved ]

Ca va?

Anyways, how are all of you? I hope all of you have been doing fine lately. Today I was suspended because last Thursday, Krista, Tabetha, and I all skipped 3rd and came back and Arnie was right there so we got caught. So today was pretty relaxing.

Well lets back track alittle. Thursday, got in trouble and then I had parent teacher confrences and my mom was hella pissed at me, then friday me and Krista did nothing like usual, then on Saturday, Krista, Leigh and I all had plans to go to the club but Leigh ended up not being able to go and he was our ride so we all didn't go and me and Krista just went to bed early. Sunday we didn't do anything as well, but I did talk to this guy named Josh, and now we are going out as well...lol. Good times huh? Well he is realyl cool, we have a lot in common which is a plus, and we both got to know each others personalities before deciding to go out. So that's a big plus, and so I think it actually might work. He likes me a lot so.... God this just makes me so happy when I know someone likes me, and actually for me, my personality, not because of my looks, nor because someone told him that we would be a good couple or anything, he made the choice and I am happy he made the choice to be with me. By the way I forgot to tell you all, I also have a myspace thing. I will get the link some other time when I am not lazy. lol. Well, I have school tomorrow, OH GOD! I also have to see my mom she is going to kill me when she sees that I pierced my lip. I am probably going to be grounded oh well I don't care. If she does I will just tell her I hate her and pierce the other side of my lip!

So yeah, wish me luck with my mom. Well, I am going to go.....love you all, one person in general. Bye all..

Always and Forever,


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Hmmm....FAT LIP BOI! [31 Oct 2004|02:25pm]
[ mood | Gloomy, Sad, Depressed, Lonely ]

Hello everyone,

Wel last night, I didn't go to the club, but I did pierce my lip by myself, I numbed it then I put a safety pin through it, then put a lip ring through it. It looks good for the most part, but it is swollen. I hope it doesn't get infected or anything, if it does I will take it out wait until it is all better then probably redo it...hahaha yeah I know I am stupid for doing it in the first place and probably even more stupid for saying I will do it again if he gets infected. But oh well. I don't care. I know my mom will hate me and try to take it out when I see her again, oh well I don't care, it is my face, and I can do what I want when I want to it. No one owns my body. It's MY BODY! SO there for I can do what I please. I hope the swelling goes down soon. Lately, I haven't been depressed, but I haven't been exactly happy. I also have been tired a lot more then I am usually and hungry like all the time like my stomach will be full and about to burst yet I still want to eat. Isn't that weird. I think I might be going back into depression, I hope not, depression was a place I really didn't want to be. Hmm....I kind of wished I went last night to the club, my friend Jinkx was preforming and I told him I would go and see him, but my friend Leigh couldn't go and he was our ride, and by the time we found out he couldn't go it was to late to try and get someone else. Oh well. I will tell him I am sorry and hope he forgives me...lol. I really want to see my friend from Arizona because I think I might love them. But who knows....I don't...that's for sure. I haven't really been writing in my journals. I don't know why, I mean I useto do it like everyday, but it's like I don't know what to say, or how to say it. In my mind things make more sence then when I try to explan it to others. Maybe, I will be happier when I find someone, like actually have someone that I can call mine. That will end up loving me, the person that I will trust and know if they hang with friends they wont cheat, wont treat me wrong, just be there for me. You know? Oh well. Yeah I am talking to my friend in Arizona.Hmm....Well I guess I am going to go later people.



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Why do I have to know all the ignorant bitches?!? [27 Oct 2004|08:03pm]
[ mood | Annoyed, Bored, lonely, tired. ]

Hey people,

Why are so many people so ignorant? God, for some reason, I have to always meet the freakin' immature assholes, who are just flat out ignorant. Seriously, sometimes I just want to punch them all in the face and tell them to kill themselves and hope that they actually do it. I mean I know not a lot of people read this but seriously, some of the people who I know read this SHOULD KILL THEMSELVES, because of how ignorant they are. I mean I try to avoid them but it's like they are everywhere. I mean.... I even thought about getting rid of all the people who are so ignorant I want to kill myself, but then I realized if I did that I basically would have to stay in my room all day because if anyone would talk to me I would think they are annoying and ignorant! So I just say whatever. I mean sitting in my room for the rest of my life doesn't really seem that bad as long as I have internet and cable! Seriously! But I know I can't do that. DAMN SOCIETY! Oh well. It's hard trying to be optimistic. I mean it's very easy to be pestimisitic, but people get sick of you when your always like that. I tried be all happy and optimistic but look were it got me. Oh well. I am always optimistic and happy when I go to the club, I feel like no matter what I do no one will care nor will I feel out of place. To bad I couldn't feel the same whereever I go. Oh well. I think that is why I still go. Sometimes, I wonder why I still go. Maybe I should take a break from the club or something. I mean I have been going since late July, and I think I almost have gone every week in between. After this weekend, I am going to see if Krista wants to take like a two week break from there, then see if I like it more, like when the first time I went. God, the first time I went I thought it was the coolest place I ever been to. Still for the most part, but it just gets old seeing the same people, and doing the same thing. Oh well this weekend I am single, again, and Jinkx is performing. God that is going to be so great, I freakin' love him he is like the best drag I have ever met! So yeah, this is freakin' long, but oh well. No one will probably read this, so no worries. Hahahaha This week is going to be so much fun there, I already picked out my outfit. I hope it looks good, if not I know I can find something to wear at the last minute, I am very creatful! lol. Well leave a message telling me you wasted your time reading this..Later days boys and girls!



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I thought we could last???? [25 Oct 2004|04:12pm]
[ mood | Calm, Lonely, Bored, Hungry. ]

Well well well...even though yesterday Mike broke up with me, I actually had like the best day, I mean seriously I didn't have that much fun in so long I felt so happy, I seriously wish I could relive that day over, over, and over again. After Mike broke up with me, Mike and David left, I was kind of hoping we could still hang out because I really never get to see them, but I understand how ackward it was for Mike. So when they left me and Krista left as well. Then Krista's mom left with Krista's sister, and me and Krista was just sitting around the house and we freakin' laughed at so many things, and had a mini party, only me and her were invited. lol. Then We hung out at the mall with Glenn, Adam (New kid I met), Tabetha, Leigh, and Karen alittle, and we bumped into Fili and Sam (OH GOD KILL YOURSELF COCK SUCKER). Oh well. But yeah then Leigh, Krista, and myself, all went to Krista's house, then went to the movies, we went and saw "The Grudge". Holy crap it was really good, and kind of scary. But still great. Then we left there and we went to Krista's to chat and have dinner. It was so freakin' good and it was nutriutes. But yeah then I went home, Leigh took me home, I hope him and her go out, but he has to dump his girlfriend first....lol. how mean I know! Well later...

Love Always.


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Revange feels good after you see the truth. [24 Oct 2004|03:13pm]
[ mood | Amused, HAPPY!, Excited, Buncy ]

Well, lets see......

On Friday, me and Krista went to Mikes, then to Camas, THAT WAS SO FUCKIN FUN! I LOVE ALL OF YOU IN CAMAS (The ones that are my friends atleast). Then we went to Matt's, we got a little high, and drank alittle, then I was tired so I fell asleep, then like at 3am Krista's mom called, I had her phone, and I got up to go give it to Krista, but I couldn't find her, and I didn't pick up the phone because she would want to talk with Krista and we were supposed to be together. Then finally I found her, after I got alittle pissed, and she talked to her mom. Her mom was pissed because we didn't pick up the phone. Krista also couldn't go to the club Saturday, because her mom thought she was lying. The Saturday, me and my mom went and got my eyes checked, my eyes aren't that bad but I need some correction. So we tried to put contacts in and that totally didn't work it was so fuckin hard, so I gave up, and by the time I gave up I am termendisly pissed, and if any of you seen me really really pissed you know you wouldn't really want to be around me. So then I got glasses, they are black and kind of squared they look fine, I don't look that hot nor do I look that nerdy. I will get them in like a week or so.

Well after that my mom took me to McDonalds, then back to Krista's. She ended up being able to go to the club. I was really excited. Then we picked up Krista from Camas, and we picked up Tabetha's whore of a sister, Amanda, and her friend Shavanna, because we HAD to take them. Then we got there I saw Mike, he interduced me to some people. I didn't really care about them nor remember who the hell they were after 3 seconds they told me there name. lol. But does it really matter. NO!!! Then the rest of the night I was jsut tired and for some reason sad. Then we (Me and Krista) left the club. We left Amanda and Shavanna there. HAHAHAHA! Then me and her got some McDonalds, that was so good. Then we both went to bed, god my bed was so cold I almost wanted to sleep on the couch in the living room. But oh well. I fell asleep HELLA FAST!

THEN THIS MORNING! David called Krista's cell because he wanted to talk to me, so she woke me up and gave me the phone, he wanted me to go to the mall and meet him and Mike there because me and Mike had to talk. I told him to tell me over the phone, but he said it had to be done in person, SO BASICALLY I KNEW WE WERE GOING TO BREAK UP! I thought that was really stupid because he could of had the decency to tell me then let me go to bed. But oh well it is fine. I am not that sad over the seperateion. We are going to see if we can get to know each other some more. Then maybe go back out in like a month or two. Who knows. I hope we do though.


Holy crap TODAY IS THE BEST! Besides Mike breaking up with me but everything else is going so unbelievably good. Times like this I love life. Well I would write alot more but Krista, is picking me up to go to the mall with Tabetha and Glennard. Then we are going to go to a movie later. YEAH! TODAY IS GOING SO WELL!



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Now I am happy. [22 Oct 2004|11:31pm]
[ mood | Tired, Complete, Excited, Calm ]

Hey people,
Wow today totally made up for yesterday's SUCKNESS! Okay Yesterday, during first period I wrote on Carlin, my friend, "I want to kill myself" then "by Josh", because she didn't want people to think she did, but then during second our teacher saw it and he told the councilor, and I guess two other people called and told him about it, so during third period, my councilor, Mr. Curtin, got me out of class like at the middle of third to talk to me about what I wrote. During the time we talked, he told me some confusing shit, and I had to talk to a person at the Clark County Crisis Line. God no one understood what the fuck I meant by it, but then later I talked to my mom about what happened, what I thought about the whole thing, and what I wanted to do about it. For the most part she understood me and agreed with me, with the stuff that could be either agreed or disagreed.
But the reason I had a better day today, and I said it made up for yesterday, is because I saw Mike (my boyfriend), Krista and I, woke up at around 9 am got ready and Mike and his mom picked us up and took us to Portland, to the Burgerville in front of his school. So, we had lunch, I met a few of his friends, they seem really lovely and nice. Then he had to go back to school. Krista and I took the bus all the way to his house, that was approxiamently, 20 blocks on foot, really not that far if you looked on a map or something, basically if you had no other choice you could walk it, maybe about a mile or two away.
But anyways, when we were on the bus going to Mike's, Krista told Mark, (Her boyfriend) that she had to talk to him on Sunday. He didn't like that answer, so he called her tried to see what it was all about, but she didn't want to tell him on the phone, nor that moment. So she told him she will talk to him Sunday, then he wanted to talk to me, I lied to him about me knowning about what she wanted to talk to him about, because it was not my place to tell and I knew if I told him I knew he would ask questions about it that basically gave it away. By the way, she wanted to dump him basically. Well, he couldn't just leave it at that, so then he just said let's break up, and stuff was said about immaturity and other stupid stuff. So now, they are afficially broken up, and they are trying to decide if they can still be friends or not, time will only tell.
After we got off the bus and started to walk from the bus stop to his house, which is about 3 blocks approxiamently. We got to his house, his mom was home, she let us in and we just sat. After a while we found a gameboy and Krista started to play it, then I went in Mike's room and got smokes and tried to find something interesting to mess with. I found nothing. **screams violently and throws fists in air** I also tried to find more games for his gameboy, but I was unsuccessful. So I just sat back in the living room. Then his mom decided to go to bed before she had to leave in 30 minutes, so she asked us if we would wake her up in 30 we were like, "sure". Right after she went to bed Jesse, Mike's brother came home from school, and we were like, "What's up?" and stuff, he looked at us weirdly because we were there and Mike wasn't. I would probably give the same look and questions, if I was in his situation. It was all good, his brother is really cool, kind of a loser, but we are all, so it truely doesn't matter. Since, those 30 minutes passed, we asked Jesse if he would wake his mom up because she asked us to but he was much closer. We were also watching a movie, it was called, "Raising Helen". It was a good movie. Right after the movie ended. My lovely boyfriend came home from school. We greated him with "Hello" and a few hugs and kisses. It was great. I asked how was his day, and what did his friends say about me, because I didn't want his friends to dislike me or anything. They all liked me I guess and thought I was cute. Thank you Mike's friends. Not like you guys will get that message but oh well. So then we started to watch another movie, Mike and I were just having fun, flirting and shit like that. **Laughs on the inside** We had like such a good time, but then Krista wanted to go to Camas, because there was a local concert thing going on and we new a few friends that were going to go. Therefore we had to leave to get on the bus and make it over there on time. It was sad, because I was having such a wonderful time, I didn't want to leave and give it up just to see people that are cool, but get old after a while. I wanted to stay and have fun. Cuddle, Kiss, Laugh, in joy life for once. It feels so great being near someone who likes you and shows it.
I wish I could of spent the night but it is okay. I am going to see if I can spend the night tomorrow night or if he would like to spend the night at my house, also known as Krista's. I doubt he will because I asked him what is he doing tomorrow and he said that he was going to go hang out with his friend that he hasn't seen in awhile after the club. So I will ask even though I doubt he will want to. It never hurts to ask. Maybe he will want to! I will be hoping.
Right now, I am at Matt's house, Krista's soon to be boyfriend, maybe. He is really nice. Only he drinks and smokes, ciggerettes and weed. I mean it is okay if you do it here and there, but when you do it more then twice a week, it's just retarded. It is there choice not mine. I make mine wisely. Before we came here, we were over at Tabetha's. She looked cute today, more then usual.
Krista, Matt, and there friend are all out in the living room watching, "The Matrix". Sounds like fun, huh? Oh well. I am sitting here, typing this and listening to music. When I go back to Krista's tonight I am going to try to take a bath and relax or I will just go to bed and do it tomorrow if I have time. I tried to make plans with Mike, but I just got confused, because he was not sure he wanted to go to dance practice, nor if he wanted to come to Vancouver. I will try to call him tomorrow when I wake up. If he is home that will be great and I will ask him if he would like to come to Vancouver and see me. If not that will be okay because I will see him later tomorrow either way.
Krista just joined me in the room, and I also believe that I wrote a lot for this entry. I could of wrote more, but this seems long enough. Have fun kids. Love ya all. More of Mike. Chow!

The Wonderful Kid.


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Do you know me? Will you ever? [18 Oct 2004|02:54pm]
[ mood | Anxious,Bored, Annoyed, Lonely ]

I guess lately I have been more annoyed with people and things, like I have been with Krista lately and it's basically a blast everyday with her, but when someone esle is around us I feel like I want to just yell at the other person. I have no idea why. I guess I am also moving extremely fast in a relationship, that I am not quite sure about. If I knew what was happening or where it was kind of heading, it would help tons, but I know nothing, I am like a person try to find a ant in a mile of hay stack, im so oblivious.

I was tremendisly surprised today, I am passing my geometry, with a C no less. I useto have a F. I am also passing Science, English, Sign Language, and I hope health, but not sure. I know I am failing my History class because we just did a BIG assignment and I didn't do anything. Oh well!

I really want tomorrow to come, I want to know what things are going to be like, what is going to change, if tomorrow will be good or bad, sad or happy, things like that, everything is just a damn mystery to me and I hate it. I like to know what is going to happen, I like to know how someone truely feels about me, I don't like guessing or wondering.

I confessed to my ex that I love them, I doubt they will ever get the message but oh well. It is fine if he does or doesn't get it. I mean I know whenever I have a relationship I will for the most part put thoughs feelings aside but they will always be there, and if me having these feelings mean that I will never have happiness because I truely only care for that one person right now, then so be it.

But yeah I also realized that I bring myself to a lot of drama that is not need and that I tell people more then they need and want to know, such as if I know someone knows something about me that I don't want them to, I will be so cautious around them and then when anyone stares at me or says something to me I think they are meaning something else so I get all defesive and have to know what they mean and intentions. It's so weird. Oh well.

I think this is now an extremely long journal, I actually like writing long ones because then no one reads it, I am serious about that, I know people who skim it but don't read it just because it is long. I think that is why I make them so long because I don't really want people to read it but it just makes me feel better knowing that I can actually get my feelings out. But yeah this is enough, so talk to you people later. Ciao.



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How long now? [17 Oct 2004|09:01pm]
[ mood | Anxious, Bored, Tired, Lonely ]

Hey People,

What's up? Hm...lately everything has just been ok, nothing really ever happens that is important. Last Saturday, Krista and me, both had Saturday School, then we came home and both took naps, it felt great! Then we went out to the club that was also extremely fun like always, and I meet a guy named Mike, then nothing happened between Sunday and Tuesday, Wednesday, Krista, Mark, and I all went to Lloyd Center to go see Mike and his friend David, and we were there, Mike baught some movies so we went to his place and started to watch them. That was like a blast by itself! But also for other reasons. Then Thursday we were suposed to go to Camas but we decided not to because the only person we would go and see was Glenn and that wouldn't be bad but we wanted to see everyone, because we barely go over there. Friday, I don't think we did anything besides sit around. Then yesterday, both, Krista and I, had Saturday School, came home took naps as usual, then we went to the club, I had a good time for the most part but then at the end there was a little drama that was all about me, because people were telling other people shit about me that wasn't true. (I guess I am a unprotected whore, who is surface shallow, and some other stuff) Nice huh? But anyways, I am over that, because I know who I am an if people don't like me for who I am an just want to make lies about me then they are missing out on my friendship, and how great of a person that I actually am, (WOW I never say things postive like that oh well). But yeah, so today, I had a more of a lad back think about everything day, then about 1 hour ago, Krista, Mom (Krista's mom), Mark, and I all drove all the way to Battle Ground to go have McDonalds, lol, just because Krista wanted to drive, I liked it though. But I am just up because Mike and I kind of need to talk, so I called him and he was watching a movie and he said after he was done he would get online, so that is why I am writing in here because I am bored and I am waiting. SO yeah. But this is like an EXTREMELY long entry, so this is where is most end lol. Well talk to you people later. LEAVE A FUCKIN COMMENT ASSHOLES! DAMN!



P.s. Shout outz:

Krista! You are the best, and you are in the otehr room, I love you!
Tabetha! You are also the best, and you are at your house with your whore of a sister, I'M SORRY! I love you!
Mike: You probably don't read this because you have no idea I have this, but yeah I do like you. (This is my first full gay comment) Oh well who gives a fuck anymore!
David (Mike's friend): You are extremely cool I am glad you went yesterday and good luck with that guy.

Anyone else you are most likely my friend so obviously I like you but just to lazy to type your name and a comment, sorry. Loves!

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DUH WHY ARE PEOPLE SO STUPID? [13 Oct 2004|10:24pm]
[ mood | Happy, NOT LONELY! Sad,Anxious ]

Hey People, how are all of you? I am good for the most part, Krista and Mark just had an arguement, it reminded me of my mom when she almost got divorced with my step dad and she went crazy because she thought that she will never be loved and stupid shit like that. Oh well whatever the fuck ever. My mom is retarded. But yeah, I talked to my ex, why do ex's always have to be completely retarded. Oh well. Me and Krista are feeling better, we are hopefully still going to Camas tomorrow and if not then oh well. I kind of want to do something else. But yeah I hope Mark and her still stay together. They are cute together just need to work on trust issue and jelousy issue. Mostly on Mark's side then hers. Oh well whatever. Also he drives us places and I know if they break up he wont. So....we would do a lot less and probably wont go to the club anymore stuff like that so...But yeah, I am REALLY EXCITED RIGHT NOW, I am going out with someone, ask me and I will tell you unless your not good enough to know, so basically I am really not going to tell anyone, hehehe. GOD BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP IS THE BEST! But yeah...bed time so have fun kids, I will update some other time.



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My ex friend did this so I did it [08 Oct 2004|11:59am]
The \\
Last Cigarette:In Camas, Monday
Last Alcoholic Drink:Smirnoff like two weeks ago.
Last Car Ride:By my brother, like 30 minutes ago
Last Kiss:Stacy, last Saturday
Last Good Cry:like two months ago
Last Library Book:Evil Whispers, I think
Last book bought:None
Last Book Read:You don't know me
Last Movie Seen in Theatres:Nypolean Dynomite
Last Movie Rented:That Jesus movie, Soul Plane, Girl next Door, and two others.
Last Cuss Word Uttered:Shit
Last Beverage Drank:Tropical Sunny Delight
Last Food Consumed:Hamburger and Fries
Last Crush:Kyle
Last Phone Call:Krista
Last TV Show Watched:One Tree Hill
Last Time Showered:Last night I think, not sure.
Last Shoes Worn:Vans
Last CD Played:Mix C.d. Mostly has Jem on it.
Last Item Bought:Patches
Last Download:Greenday "Time of your life"
Last Annoyance:People at school.
Last Disappointment:Two days ago, something about Kyle
Last Soda Drank:Coca Cola
Last Thing Written:Something for English
Last Key Used:H <--hahaha
Last Words Spoken:Talking to Krista about going to a friends.
Last Sleep:Last night
Last Ice Cream Eaten:Vanilla Bean I think.
Last Chair Sat In:This one, or my brothers car. Whatever one.
Last Webpage Visited:Livejournal

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RIGHTOUS! [07 Oct 2004|08:41pm]
[ mood | Crappy, Tired, Bored, Lonely ]

Hello people,

What's up everyone? Not much here, basically same old things. Well Krista got suspended tomorrow, kind of funny how but whatever. Tabetha might go to the club with us on Saturday, if we go. I have been missing a lot of my 6 period seriously. Oh well. It's only biology, today I left because I didn't feel good. So, Mark picked me up after 5th period, and took me to Krista's. Then she came home at normal time, and Mark left for work at 3pm. I went and took a nap around like 5pm, and My mom (Krista's mom) woke me up at 7pm because dinner was done. So I got up and have been up since, yippie dippie! lol. But yeah I don't know if I am going home tonight because my mom hasn't called, so hopefully I can spend the night here! Who ever knows? I am talking to my friend in Texas he is like the best! Because of him I am starting to not hate Texas, AS MUCH! Oh well. Krista just got back from her sister's. She gave me SpongeBob Square Pants, fruit snacks. Yummy! But yeah, I guess I will stop writing because I don't know what to really talk about, oh wait yes I do, I freakin have Saturday school this Saturday with Krista, hell YES! Okay now that was it. Later people!



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This really describes me [06 Oct 2004|09:13pm]
[ mood | Bored, Lonely, Anxious, Tired ]

let's see:
your name
do you smoke?
do you drink?
stronger drugs?
your favourite activity
you are An undiscovered genius
you wish you were Worshipped
you hope To get rich someday
people think you are An odd ball
intelligent people though, think you are Cute
but, really, you're just You
This QuickKwiz by apistrakus - Taken 50434 Times. </a></font>
Get Free Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz
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"Does anyone want have sex tonight, pure unadult arated sex tonight?" [04 Oct 2004|04:48pm]
[ mood | Happy, Tired, Lonely, Bored ]

Well hello there, homecomming was the best I went with Stacy she was so HOTT! I also went with Krista ans Mark, it was awesome. I saw Tabetha there but she left early and took Isaac, Sam, and Chealsea with her and I thought that was so lame because what is the point of going and paying for something and getting all dressed up when your only going to be there for like 20 minutes! I thought it was so stupid and then later Isaac and Sam were at Tabes house and I guess Mike came over and she totally ditched them and went into her room with Mike and just left them in the living room so they just left. THAT WAS SO TREMENDISLY RUDE! but whatever. That is just my opinion. Oh god and her sister just moved in with her! GOD SHE IS A FUCKIN SLUT FOR REAL! Oh well not my business. (caugh caugh homie hopper caugh caugh_) <--hahahahahahaha god I am so fuckin funny! Anyways, after homecomming me,Krista, and Mark all went to the club, I saw Vanessa and wished her Happy Birthday! GOD I LOVE HER! But yeah I told my friend Kyle to go but I didn't see him, but I talked to my friend Lauren today and she told me that he did go and he saw me but he didn't say hi because either I was doing something he didn't want to interupte me or something or he was busy she didn't remember. SOME TIMES! GOD I AM SO MAD OVER THAT! Oh well. Well tonight I am going to Camas to see some Camaszoneins! YIPPIE! well later people!


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What a night, tonight will be. [02 Oct 2004|01:52pm]
[ mood | Excited, Bored, Lonely, Happy ]

Hey People, well I am still slightly sick but I am getting much better. Today is my Homecomming Dance, my date is Stacy, and we are going with Mark and Krista. We will all hopefully have a wonderful time. Then after that we (Me, Krista, and Mark) are all going staight to Krista's and changing then going to the club hopefully get there before 12am. Tonight will be so fun. I am really excited. Also I am going to get a picture, that has me and Stacy in it, then another one that has me and Krista in it. Those two pictures will be some HOTTT pictures. Well I have to go do somethings so I will try to update tomorrow. Later people.



Ps. I went to the Fort vs. Camas Homecomming game last night and I saw a lot of friends, I didn't really see anybody from Camas though, what a bummer. Well I will see them soon hopefully! Later.

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Been awhile! [30 Sep 2004|05:59pm]
[ mood | Sick, Lonely, Bored, BLAH! ]

Hey People what's up? I haven't wrote in here for like four days oh well. Well nothing really has been happening, just kind of getting prepared for homecomming and stuff like that. Figuring out who I am going with and how much money and all the stupid little details. Well I am getting a hair cut this friday HELL YES! Also I am starting to get sick, I AM STARTING TO GET FUCKIN PISSED, because I want to be able to go to homecomming and then to the club with out trying to blow my nose every five seconds. DAMN I SWEAR SOMETIMES! And my councilor wont let me switch geomtry teachers! DAMN DAMN DAMN! Ms. Berry is such a fuckin BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111---well I will go talk to you kids later!



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Duh! [26 Sep 2004|04:44pm]
[ mood | Irritated,Bored,Tired,Lonely ]

Hmm...well last night I went to bed about 6 or something in the morning whoo hoo not. Erin came got her phone, I'm so glad I saw her even though it was for like 10 seconds! OH well. OH EVERYONE REPLY TO THIS! If you had a friend that was basically like family and you known them since like first grade, and you left something at their house and they were gone so you went there house real fast to get it a write a note to tell them you came in and got it, should they be mad? Or should the person who went in the house be in the wrong? Anyways off that stupid note. How is everyone else? For some reason today when I got on the computer I got really sad/mad/depressed. Oh well who cares. I know one person who doesn't. OH well. Krista should be home in like an hour or two I believe, I'm going to see what she is doing, and if nothing if she would like to do something. What we will do I have no idea but oh well!--Later---Josh

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Bored.... [26 Sep 2004|04:36am]
[ mood | Drained,Tired,Bored,Lonely ]

Well, I went to the club tonight I met like 7 new girls, the were like all the coolest I kind of paid more attention to 2 though because at first I could see them not having a good time and then one of the girls sister started yelling at her because she left and no one saw here. So I like did my best to cheer them up and make them dance. So basically I was being stupid and flashing them my stomach and crap to make them laugh and to be happy. I believe I did, either that or they just put up a front, I hope I see them all again it was really fun. I can't wait till next weekend because mine and Krista's plan is to go to homecomming then come stright home, change, and then go to the club. It will be a shit load of dancing that day. Oh well I love it. I especially love dancing/ being with Krista. Well earlyer I saw people kind of checking me out, I don't know if it's because I'm ugly, or was being weird at the time, or because they want me or something who knows. But still people were looking at me. So yippie...lol. But I am at Krista's right now, she is in Puluap (spelling) she should be back tomorrow. I am spending the night here because my mom is flea bombing the house early tomorrow and no way in hell I would wake up so I just came over here and I am probalby go to go to sleep after I write this long entry. I really need to stop writing long entries oh well if you don't like it then don't read I freakin don't give a fuck. I always have thing on my mind and if you don't want to read then you obviously don't care about me a lot. Anyways...I guess for the most part life is quite good. So...I guess I will go because I am really tired and this is a long ass entry..Later people! Oh if you actually read all of this leave a comment! Thanxz--Later---Josh

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